Telling The Truth Is A Hard Thing To Do: Part 3

Everyone is talking, but saying nothing!

~Roseanne Cash, Black Cadillac

Whether it’s the Russia-Trump story, the latest of fall of a senator or an evangelical icon, we are being deluged with true stories about people who held onto truths, then fell from glory. Perhaps that’s the only way a rebalancing of power in our democracy can happen. But it’s not about our fallen icons really, it’s about us. Perhaps these clay pigeons are mirrors for all of us. It’s time we ask the hard questions of ourselves: where in our own lives and work are we not telling the truth? What has to get fixed so we can?

I hear way too many of my clients and cohorts finding they got blinded by success intoxication and missed the right turns. Some self-sabotaged by not telling the truth of who they really are, others by not staying in sync with what really matters. When any of us fly too close to the sun, like the mythical Icarus, we get burned to a crisp.

In all the stories I hear, it’s always when we don’t listen to our own truth nor tell it as fast as we can, that we dance with disaster.   I use a great instant on-the-go tool, what I call a “Truth Verifier, which has helped so many people get out of their heads and directly into their bodies to find their truth in the moment. I call this on-the-go tool, “Traffic Light”. It takes both the facts and your inner knowing of your truth to make really conscious choices. Give my Traffic Light a try.

So many times, I hear folks saying they don’t know what they want. Yet we have all the info we need internally to make most of our decisions. Most of us just haven’t learned to trust ourselves enough, to tell the truth quickly.

Sometimes our truth scares others. It’s not intentional. We just want to keep growing and going.:) At times telling that truth is so hard. And risks seem insurmountable. Whenever I find myself holding back my truth by not fully expressing myself, I remind myself that time is flying by. After 9/11 our American innocence ripped away all in a flash, leaving us all too familiar with the notion that we only have “now”. Today we are witnessing the very foundation of our democracy being in play. America is at a precipice. Yet it’s so easy to forget all that when we get caught up the hub-bub of our lives. But when we stop to consider, it is no surprise that “now” is the biggie truth that needs to drive all of us. It’s what fuels me and keeps my juices pumping.

More often than not, we think that if we just don’t tell the whole truth we can avoid the expected static or making waves. We convince ourselves that if we can just fly under the radar we’ll get by unscathed. My client Petra, a very successful service provider, tried to get by not telling the whole truth in her new relationship. She role played being fully present, telling it like it is, in between discussing her plans to jettison the losing, money-eating clients in her portfolio. I responded: What a way to build a great relationship! Is there really a difference between a little untruth and a big untruth?

Big or small untruths eat away at a foundation of any relationship. Most certainly the relationship we have with ourself.

I learned all too young that waves of change come when you least expect it. So taking a real good look at your world and mind is mandatory. We must start with ourselves over and over again, telling the truth as fast as we can.

                                                                          Invest in what matters.

~ American Century Investments

Traffic Light: When you find yourself unsure about someone or a situation, or you’re unable to make a clear choice, try this tried and true “truth verifier”.

 No matter where you are, take a moment to center yourself. When you are ready, visualize a traffic light in your mind’s eye. See the red, yellow and green darkened lights. Without rushing, ask yourself how you should proceed. Then wait to see which light shines brightest. If yellow goes on, best not make any choice or proceed just yet. If it turns red, best get out of there asap. But if green lights up, step on the pedal and go for the on ramp.

 Keep track of your results. Please let me know how it goes for you.

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Karen Sands, leading GeroFuturist, is the author of 11 books including “The Ageless Way” and recently released, “The Greatness Challenge.”